• Marissa Anastasi

Teenage Mummy - My first experience & birth story!

Updated: Mar 11

I was only 18 years old when I discovered I was pregnant with my first baby. It was a shock to the system, obviously not planned but it was welcomed! George was also 18 and we had been together for 2 years at this point and we were both in love and in it for the long run. Even at such a young age, we were in a committed relationship and so that never concerned me, he was there to support me. Telling my parents though was another story. I come from a traditional Greek Cypriot background with lots of aunties that were very mothering. I was the youngest niece in the family on my mums’ side and the first to break the tradition of having a baby out of wedlock.

The picture below was when I was 5 weeks pregnant.....I just didn't know it yet!!

My mum was emotional when I first told her as she imagined the worst and of course the burden of having to tell the whole family that her 18-year-old daughter was having a baby. I couldn't do anything wrong in my dad eyes and he did, and still does always have my back. After that hurdle, they were both incredibly supportive, they weren’t really left with any other option. I was always a head strong child and never cared too much of what people thought anyway, so I continued in my little happy bubble. My parents already loved George as their own, he was around every day and they knew him well.

We received a mixture of reactions from people as we told them, some were happy, but others are very opinionated. One patronizing comment said to me quite regularly was "a baby having a baby". Argh, it annoyed the absolute s**t out of me. Why do people feel the need to belittle another when their happy? I mean, of course at the time it upset me, but I can understand a little better now I'm older and wiser and look back the pictures. I did look so young. I suppose that was some people’s way of releasing their concerns. Women need to lift other women up, there’s no need to crush one another.

The first three months, I suffered bad morning (all day) sickness. I was working at the time and on my feet all day, but George picked up the slack for me until I gained more energy. From the second trimester, was when I really started to enjoy being pregnant and shopping for baby gear and talking about our future. We went to million baby shows but I must say I never went to one antenatal class, and I'm glad I didn't. I think there generally overrated and turn new parents into a emotional wreck. They weren’t for me, but I have friends that went and like them, but that’s my view.

Early in my pregnancy, George and I decided to get registered as I wanted the same name as my baby - this isn't for everyone but it’s just what I wanted. it’s quite popular in recent years for the women to keep her own family name but I'm a traditional breed in a modern world, and this concept never crossed my mind. It’s just how I wanted it to be. I don't see it as feminism or anything ridiculous like that.

Being a teen mummy definitely had its pros....I was fit, energetic and never once did I worry, google or make scenarios in my head of what could go wrong. I was so laid back. Having a baby never frightened me, my large extended family came in handy. I was babysitting my newborn cousins from 12 years old, changing nappies, preparing their milk. I can't actually believe that they trusted me so much now I look back, but I did a good job, I'm almost certain this played a big role as to how easily I adapted myself. Becoming a mummy was relatively natural to me.

Photo below was taken at our registry; I was 17 weeks pregnant.

I worked until my due date, but baby K never made an appearance for another 2 weeks. I was in labour for 26 hours from my first contraction. My pains began the evening before at 8pm which I quietly kept to myself as I really wasn't sure if it was labour. At 3am I woke up with a belly ache and went to the toilet. As I stood up and flushed, there on the toilet seat was my "show/plug"......I woke George up to look at it, (gross I know). It was my confirmation that I was in fact in labour, as my pregnancy book said. This was the first and last time with all four of my pregnancies that I saw my "show/plug".

So, I had contractions all night and about 10am we went to the hospital only to be sent home as I wasn't dilated enough. I didn't know what to expect, but we went home anyway, and I agonized in my bedroom at home with George comforting me. We returned to the hospital at 8pm. I remember there being so many people around and family kept rotating to come in the room to rub my back through the pain. I didn't any form of pain relief or gas and air. I just prayed for the pain to go and squeezed Georges hand!!

My whole experience was amazing and one I will never forget. (apart from the back labor). When it was time to push, there was George, my mum and midwife in the room. I insisted that they stay at the top where my head was. I didn't need anyone staring at my fanny who medically didn't need to. I felt the sudden need to go toilet, I thought I was going to poop myself, but the midwife yelled, "come back, it’s the baby coming". I went completely silent which I still do when I'm in pain, but I hung on to the midwifes every word. She said these words "if you don't want stitches, listen to me". Only a woman who's had a natural labour can understand how difficult it is to hold on to a push when all your body wants to do is push beyond your control. Still, I held the push until the midwife instructed. And there he was at 22:10. my first baby boy weighing 7lbs 13 ounces at 42 weeks. All 3 of us sobbed, it was one of the most precious moment of my life. (No stitches, my midwife was amazing and so was the Nhs, and I didn't poop myself!)

A woman's body is incredible - I grew that tiny human for 10 months and my vajajyjay just pushed out another mini human and not to mention a placenta that I can only describe as looking like a large leg of lamb placed on the tray in front of me. LOL

My first pregnancy and birth story all went smoothly, and I feel incredibly lucky for that and grateful to my body.

Within 30 minutes I was up, showered, dressed, oddly putting makeup on to go and show the 30 family and friends in the waiting room, my little baby Kenny.

I was home the next day and apart from a sore VJ, (sitting was uncomfortable), I was active, felt back to normal. I recall feeling like a model, but I clearly didn't look like one, I put on 3 stone in my pregnancy and still had another 2 stone to go. I think being young defiantly helped my body bounce back into shape without dieting or going to the gym. I've actually never been on a diet!

Breastfeeding was my plan, and I had lots of milk, my boobs were the size of my head, but Kenny wouldn't latch on. When the midwife arrived for our first visit, she suggested spoon feeding him my breast milk which I did for a while. I ended up formula feeding him which I didn't feel guilty about at all. At least he was being fed. I think there’s a lot of pressure surrounding mothers and breastfeeding but at the end of the day, its whatever suits you and your baby.

Baby K is not much of a baby anymore, he's almost 16 now but still my baby boy in my eyes. I've had so much fun raising him, along with the stress and worry. From an ultra-well-behaved cute baby to a now full on moany teenager. He was my first love at first site, and he taught me how to be a mummy. He was the beginning to our now large family. My first birth story as a young teenage mum!

Speaking from my own experience, I have had 4 children, and all my pregnancies and births were completely different and so was how I felt post birth as a mother. I was fortunate my first was an amazing experience without complications, but they all weren't like this.

Another time, another tale though. Three more birth stories to come.

Marissa xoxo

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